Sunday, September 21, 2014

BUBBLEGUM BARF Vol. 4

I remember thinking maybe if I could just scrape out my insides I'd feel pretty or at least okay and I remember the way my blood rushed up against the surface of my skin when I dug my nails in after running two hours on the treadmill in that shitty little gym I only went to at odd hours of the night when I could be absolutely sure that nobody else would be there because when I feel eyes on me it isn't nice it isn't soft it isn't understanding it is burning holes in me and every time a little more of me leaks out and how am I supposed to be brave when I am so fucking empty I can't feel anything anymore unless it is so sharp it makes me bleed?

i'm sorry i don't mean to complain but why is pleasure so much harder to feel than pain?

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