Saturday, January 31, 2015

Little Light, Keep Shining Bright: An Ongoing Letter to My Little Sister

When you were born, I thought you were the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen, and even now all these years later, I still see everything golden and everything pure in the whole world shining in you.

You are not your body. Your body is the vessel that carries your being around this earth. Never forget this.

Try to spend much less time worrying about the appearance of your vessel and much more time developing who you are becoming as a being in this world.

Never stop chasing your passions. Eventually, they will always lead you where you are meant to go.

Never stop creating. Make something new every day, if you can. Don’t worry about it being a “good” poem or a “good” painting or a “good” song. Keep that creativity flowing, don’t let it dry out.

If an art teacher tells you “Anyone could make this” look them straight in the eyes and say “But they didn’t. I did.”

Try. Always try. There is no shame in making mistakes, there is no shame in failing. There is only shame in not giving something your best shot because you’re too afraid to even attempt it.

Do not ever feel like you HAVE to do ANYTHING that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsure.

You have not been placed on this earth to be anybody’s punching bag or anyone’s doormat.

You are a beautiful being and you are capable of incredible things. Show the world what you can do, and be proud of it, but not cocky.

Do not ever start smoking cigarettes. It is so hard to quit once you want to, and you will, I promise.

Everyone smokes pot in college and nobody cares. Be safe and be smart.

One day you will fall in love.

Who you fall in love with is not something that you can control. Sorry, kiddo, but that’s not the way it works.

Do not ever listen to those who might tell you that love is a matter of choice.

Above all else, always try to be kind.

Always try to be grateful, and to express that gratitude every day.

Nobody knows what happens after we die. Some people claim to, but the truth is that all we can really do is wait and see. So in the meantime, you’ve got this life. Make it count. Make it great.

Please, always know that when you need me I am here, forever, for all of this life and whatever might come after.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

My Demons Are Clever, They Lurk In Ordinary Things

My demons are there are too many people out there and they are never going to leave me alone
My demons are I am turning down my music because I don’t want anyone else to hear what I am listening to
My demons are I have to sit at the back of the classroom because I cannot stand the possibility that someone might be looking at the back of my head
My demons are oh my god I’ve been staring at that girl I’m sorry I was just daydreaming
My demons are I can hear voices from the room I just left they are probably talking about how much they hate me right
My demons are I bet they think I’m crazy because of my scars
My demons are I can feel our auras touching when you sit down next to me please leave
My demons are what should I say oh god I never know what to say maybe I should just stay quiet
My demons are shut up shut up shut up
My demons are I want you to touch me so badly but when you do I feel like I might die
My demons are I am afraid of everything especially the things I want
My demons are one day I will die and the whole universe will forget that I was ever here at all

Monday, January 19, 2015

When I Think About You

Fireworks at night.
An ocean of light.
Bottle the sun.

The summer of peach tea and cigarettes.
Vonnegut and insomnia and all the ticking clocks.
Time flying by in quick movements
like fabric through our fingertips
when all we want is more and more and more.
Thirst.
Insatiable, 

craving every touch
every moment every bit,

every kiss every skin cell every drop of blood
every molecule. 

Home.
Warm, familiar spaces

where we melt into the cracks of one another
and begin to feel like a whole.
We will devour each other
and seep into the furniture
and into the floorboards

and into the soil. 

We will become shelter, 

we will be safe and warm.