Falling Madly In Love With Absolutely Everything

You fall in love with everyone when they are talking about their favorite things
You fall in love with voices that rumble like the earth whispering all its darkest secrets
You fall in love with people who carry the moon in their chests
You fall in love with people’s scars, you dive into their stories, you memorize the maps of memories on their skin
You fall in love with the sorrow people cater to in their hearts, you wait to see how much of it spills out and where it goes afterward
You fall in love with a song you’ve heard since you were born but you never remember, you hear it humming in the blood of everyone around you
You fall in love with anyone who quotes Vonnegut and makes eye contact for so long it makes you feel uncomfortable
You fall in love with the way another person’s presence can begin to feel so much like home
You fall in love with the bits of cosmic dust connecting your veins to those of every living thing
You fall in love with the night sky and all its musings
You fall in love with absolutely everything 
You surrender yourself
You shed your skin
You fall into love and let it swallow you whole

Affirmations | 03.03.15

I am constantly growing. I am constantly changing. I am reaching inward and holding on tight to anything that feels right. I am tearing out from inside anything too sharp, anything that cuts for all the wrong reasons. I am scraping together all the love I can find into small orbs of light I can hold in my hands. I am raising my voice. I am lifting my hands up toward the sky and asking for more and more and all. I am vibrating with such intention and I will direct it at anything that makes the blood boil under my skin. I am here and I am awake and I am alive and I have never been so ready and so excited and so terrified.

Your Body Is A Haunted House And I Want To Live Inside Of It

Your body is a haunted house

and I want to live inside of it

I want to listen 

to the floorboards creak

and to the ghosts

whispering all their darkest secrets

Your body is a haunted house

and I want to live inside of it

I want to seep

into the floorboards

into the foundation

into the soil

Your body is a haunted house

and I want to live inside of it

I want to fill every room

everything

everywhere

with the same light

you have poured into me

Your body is a haunted house

and I want to live inside of it

I want to stay

until we crumble

into dust

My Mania Tells Me Things And I Obey

My mania tells me things and I obey
Like:
You should dye your hair three different colors in one week
Like:
You should stay up all night finger painting and call it art
Like:
You should organize your bookshelves 
based on sensations instead of genre
Like:
You should give away everything you own,
you don’t need it anyway
Like:
You should text all of your exes,
ask them when the feeling faded
or if it was ever even there
Like:
You should ignore all of your phone calls
and alarm clocks
and all other sounds
that make your skin crawl
Like:
You should cover your windows with black sheets
and pretend that life is one long night
you never have to sleep through
Like:
You should distance yourself 
from everyone you love
tell them you’re okay
you just have to go away
for awhile
Like:
You should tear off your layers
expose the wounds beneath
wait for the sting to turn numb again
Like:
You should shatter yourself to pieces
pretend they can be lost
and found again
Like:
You should hide anything that hurts 
in the space between your ribs
forget they’re growing 
forget they’re spreading
forget they’re waiting
all winter long 
to bloom like flowers in the spring

My Mania Tells Me Things And I Accept Them As Truths

My mania tells me things and I accept them as truths

Like:

If you stay awake long enough, 

everything will make sense

Like:

If you starve your body, 

your mind will expand

Like:

If you drink another pot of coffee you will be calm

Like:

If you smoke another cigarette your hands will stop shaking 

Like:

If you feel like you are going in the right direction,

turn around and run the other way

Like: 

If you feel like you are alone,

stay where you are and never leave

Like: 

If you stop speaking to everyone

for long enough

they will forget you exist

Like:

If you stop writing things down

it's like they never even happened

Like:

If you let another person stay near you for too long, 

their aura will eventually leak out

and seep into you 

and it will make your insides melt

Like:

If you try to figure out what someone else is thinking,

you will either only pick up static

or you will hear awful noise

Like: 

If you love someone,

you will make them wish

you'd never met

Like:

If you try to forget,

the memory will only get stronger,

it will plant roots in your chest

while you sleep

Yeah, You Keep Dreaming, Kid

In my dreams a publisher sees my work and tells me they think I've got a real shot

In my dreams the ratio of rejection to acceptance letters in my inbox is not quite as depressing as it is in real life

In my dreams I am not editing my suicide notes and calling it poetry

In my dreams I never burned all my best work in my mother's fireplace when I was seventeen

In my dreams I can finish an entire project before the fear consumes me and causes me to walk away halfway through

In my dreams I am not bitter over the success of others

In my dreams I know where the line between courage and cowardice truly is

In my dreams I have never once thought of giving it all up

In my dreams I am brave

In my dreams I am unwilling to compromise

In my dreams I am tearing out my insides and throwing them down on the floor

In my dreams I am offering myself up as a whole and not as broken parts

In my dreams I am shouting I am here look at me

In my dreams I am exposing my open wounds and I am not asking to be healed

In my dreams I am cutting out my heart and I am not asking to be loved

In my dreams I am inadequate and insignificant and small and I wouldn't change that for the world

Empathy

Empathy is like:

I see the light pouring out of your eyes and into mine

and I know how the whole world

is tugging invisible threads under your skin

and I want to help you unravel them

until you feel free

until you feel safe

until you feel loved

until we both grow apart

until we die

until we’re dust